Friday, June 24, 2011

In the event that you are not taking National Velociraptor Safety Awareness Month as seriously as you SHOULD

Some Helpful info:

Velociraptors are often found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:

-Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around their prey.
-Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor laboratories.
-Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
-Velociraptors do not know fear.

And New Home Buyer Tips:

When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:

-Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.
-Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
-Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.

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