In the event that you are not taking National Velociraptor Safety Awareness Month as seriously as you SHOULD

Some Helpful info:

Velociraptors are often found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:

-Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around their prey.

-Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor laboratories.

-Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.

-Velociraptors do not know fear.

And New Home Buyer Tips:

When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:

-Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.

-Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.

-Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.

You're Welcome

with an aftertaste of sawdust.

Xscape - Just Kickin' It

I feel ya...

Better Renew Your Membership...

Velociraptor compared in size to a human. Courtesy: Wikipedia

June is National Velociraptor Awareness Month! The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention, along with the North American Velociraptor Defense Association and the United Velociraptor Widows Fund, will be providing free velociraptor safety seminars at local Red Cross centers across the nation. Contact your local center for more information.

Learn More @ American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention (A Division of Velociraptor Aerospace Dynamics)

aww.

the monkees are staying at my hotel and they're so cute! davy jones just called me a sweetheart. i want to hug them.

smiling baby cheetah!!

dcist.

who knew a baltimore accent could be so adorable?

if you haven't already, you should probably download rye rye's free mixtape from this website. can't stop dancing.

in honor of the exciting news!!!

when sprinklers attack

More @ Dog vs. Sprinklers

my horoscope today, according to google

Cancer Horoscope


June 15, 2011

You might have a hot argument with a young person in your circle, and feel tempted to use harsh words.

You are running the risk of being involved in a car accident. You'd better avoid driving today.

Financial speculations are to be avoided! [was the exclamation point really necessary?]



shit....well there goes the rest of my day.