Hey, I can blog now! sort of...

Paddy's Irish Pub

Beer Pong Party Table

First things first, let's get good and drunk!

-Dennis

• Regulation length

• Strong Aluminum framing and legs

• Liquid proof 1/4'' thick melamine play surface

• Lightweight, foldable, stores anywhere

• Comfortable handles for easy carrying

• Folds up to a compact 2 ft. x 2 ft size for easy storage and transport from one party to the next.

For A Limited Time Get A Free Set Of Six Custom Paddy's Pub Logo Pong Balls With Every Table!

is this language really appropriate for a god fearing young woman?

@LadyGaga "Poker Face" parody by WBC is done! Lyrics: http://tiny.cc/LGL2 Music: sound bite

megan phelps (fred phelp's daughter) parodies pokerface.

This is from 2006. And real.

I am speechless. This is why I drink.

dear mandy,

this just in:

thomas "sweet moves" grumblecake is SO GOOD at pool.

more art

Via The Iladelph comes word that Rob McElhenney—probably better known as Mac on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia—has bought a bar in Philadelphia's Old City neighborhood along with his wife Kaitlin Olson, who also plays Dee on the show.

On the popular FX show, McElhenney owns a bar with the other characters, and the fictional bar is called Paddy's Pub. To add to the "reality mirroring fiction" angle, the real-life bar will be called Mac's Olde Towne Tavern.

daily dose of art.

manimals!

oh, really shauna? you think i should go blog and type words? i can barely walk. -mandy

and now she is engaged in a dance off.

My nickname is "The Tan-gent"

Jersey Shore Nickname Generator

love her.

this is pretty sweet.

you are not alone - viking/cj milli remix

whats up ana lucia.

blorg

I hate driving by abortion clinics and seeing dirty old men standing around outside. I feel like yelling at them, ‘Impregnators!’
-John Waters

Lost Art

Pretty cool/weird Lost art.

scientology is bad for children

its like wheres waldo

TVGuide.com: We hear there are some little hints in the final poster. What should fans take away from viewing this?

Cuse: I think you should look in there and there will be a couple of clues to the final season that are embedded in that poster. It will make a lot of sense once you've actually seen a few episodes of the show.

Lindelof: You should look at the poster and think of the things you've seen on the show, and then whatever else is left, that's a clue for Season 6.

seriously, who thought gradschool was a good idea?

if i ever tell you that I'm considering getting my phd, please, just shoot me in the face.

what do you say we make apple juice and fax it to each other?

If only they got Carl Weathers

this doesn't even make sense.

or so i hope.

we should be friends with these guys

fuck postmodernism.

Grizz needs a kidney transplant

Really. Dot Com is going to help is lose weight. Really.

Yes, this is man in a chicken suit playing "What Is Love?"

Man in a Chicken suit plays "What is Love" on Pianica from Ring Mod on Vimeo.

this is the song i tried to think of the other day.

I love your sushi roll
hotter than Wasabi
i race for your love
shake and bake: ricky bobby

this really is a rough estimate.

10-ish pages down.
50-ish pages to go.

3-ish days left.

....he's also looking to fill a paralegal position

Devoted Christian Man Needs Help Punishing Disobedient Wife - 43 (NOVA)

First I would like to thank all of you who have written me already to offer kind words of encouragement. When I first posted this ad one month ago, I got many warm responses, but for reasons I won't go into, I was not able to follow-through. But I have prayed about this a lot and I feel in my heart that I am ready.

For those of you who don't yet know my story, read further if you think you may be able to assist a marriage in need.

I am a handsome Christian man, age 43, 6ft3, dark brown hair, blue eyes and a successful attorney. I am seeking a girl to have sex with in front of my wife (Laney) to punish her for gaining weight. If you think that you can help a family like ours, as we are in need, then please continue reading. I love my wife very much and I have no interest in leaving this marriage, but I believe that I am being pushed beyond what any spouse should tolerate from his significant other. This is a girl who made a commitment to me in front of God as well as all our friends and family and I am thankful that many of you can understand the value of those commitments. We are Christians and the thought of divorce would be a heartbreak to us and our families. So I need to state up front, that no matter what, this will not turn into a romance between you and I. It will just be something that we do at least once and more if required. Afterward, I will assess the situation and determine if a follow-up is necessary. It is important that you be a sensitive woman and not vindictive, after all, I do love my wife. Ideally you are a Christian as well.

While I want to punish my wife, I have no interest in destroying her self esteem. I love Laney with all my heart. Having said all of this, I will need a woman whose physique surpasses Laney in all aspects. Basically, I want to accentuate areas of her physicality that she is bothered by.

My wife is 5ft4 and currently 147.5 pounds. She wishes she were taller. So I need you to be taller than 5ft4 and obviously you should be between 110 and 115 (which was her weight in high school when we met).
She is a 32C and she is sensitive that her breasts are too large and losing their firmness. So I need you to be a firm breasted 32B.
Finally, she has ashy brown hair - which she calls poo brown because she thinks it very generic and unnoticeable. So you will need to have rich colored dark brown or black hair. You can be blonde too, but I prefer brunettes.
So ideally, you are 5ft6, 32B with gorgeous dark hair.

After dinner, around 7:30pm, Laney will be washing the dishes and performing her chores. I will be in the living room playing video games when you will knock on the door. I will yell, "honey, get the door." When she opens the door, she will see you. You will be wearing tight workout clothes which display your excellent physique. At this point I would like you to say, "Hi, is Frank here?" This will confuse her as she will not know how you know me. From the living room, I will yell, "Oh, let her in, let her in." It is important that you smile widely at this moment as you disregard my wife (who will still be standing at the door) and walk past her straight to the living room (which is directly straight ahead. Our house has a very open layout after we had it renovated).

You will walk into the living room and sit next to me on the couch. As soon as Laney completes her chores, change the baby and puts him down for the evening, she will certainly want to join us in the living room to figure out who you are. When this happens, I will ask her to sit down. I have not yet figured out what will come out of my mouth next, but I plan on crafting an eloquent speech.

It will be something like this, "honey, it has been 14 weeks since you gave birth and you are 27 1/2 pounds overweight still. I have asked you to lose weight and you said you would, but you did not. I tried being patient and supportive, but after 6 weeks, I am at wit's end. I then stopped making love to you and I know that hurt you, but still you have done nothing about your weight. Finally, a week ago, I asked you to sleep on the couch and I told you it was so you did not wake me up when you fed the baby. I have to apologize for lying to you. It had nothing to do with the baby. I don't want to be in the same bed as you, because you have let yourself go. I love you, but this is a last resort. I invited [your name] over here tonight to have sex with me in front of you because I am tired of the waiting. I can not be the only one who supports this marriage. This is a partnership."

(I may change a few words, though I am not sure yet. Like I said, I will try and fine tune it before you come over.)

Then I will lean into you and start kissing your neck. This will be your signal to reach your hand toward the zipper of my jeans and unzip it. (If I do not kiss your neck, it means that you should wait.) While you reach your hand in to pull my penis out, I will push your head down toward it. This will be a signal for you to start performing oral sex on me. While you are doing this I will start removing your top, your bra and loosening the draw-string on your pants. At this point I will stop and ask Laney to get us some drinks. While she is in the kitchen we can grab your clothes and go to the master bedroom if that is not too awkward for you, or if you are feeling it, we can just position ourselves on the floor. When Laney returns with the drinks I want her to discover us having full-on intercourse. We will enjoy the act until I have climaxed. If you need, I can get you off too (my wife has a rabbit vibrator we can use). Otherwise, you will politely excuse yourself.

As you can tell, this is not about the sex. I am not just some guy trying to get laid nor is this some kinky fantasy. I'd like this to be tasteful, safe and just confrontational enough to be a wake-up call to Laney.

I am also looking for a new paralegal if anyone qualified needs a job, but I should probably post that in a different ad.

If you think you could participate in this, please write me, include a photo and stats. Also, if you are NOT a Christian, please say so in your email rather than try and pretend you are. Please don't try and fake it just to get some sex.

danny devito + adderall = comic genius.

legacy :(.

i like when a woman has ambition, its like seeing a dog wear clothes.

a montage of Jack Donaghy's misogynist comments on 30 Rock.

i'm so lonely

kermit gets his revenge

preview from the final season

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

someone texted this to blade...

(860): he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen

Shaqbook Pro

Black Cat
Sun Jan 17
DJ Dredd Presents: PRINCE vs OUTKAST Dance Party $13 Adv /$15 DOS Mainstage 9:00

we are so there.

Greatest pilot ever.

Todd Margaret: Hey, hey, I'm like Rocky and Rocky 3 combined! Had a baby in Rocky 2, fucked Rocky 4! BOOM, Rocky 5!

The pilot.

in honor of our 200th post...

amazing.

i actually had "shaqfu" as a child...

no one touches the shactus

Has anyone else noticed how bad the post has been lately?

I do believe that Michael Jackson is doing this right now.

next year for halloween I'm going to be Mr. F.

please do not expect to be raptured if you are into fornication.

also from the third eagle of the rapture: why a woman, even "a candidate as qualified as sarah palin", should not be president (according to the book of genesis).

i miss my grammy

brilliant.

man calls 911 to request police escort to lil wayne concert.

911 Call: A Dumb Man Wants Police Escort To Visit Lil Wayne sound bite  911 Call sound bites

this is not funny, but definitely worth a read.

homosociality.

kinda weird kinda cool

james lipton saved you all

Many, many more...

I <3 Jakob

everything is officially better in spanish

is this the end of grumblecakes?

and kate

lost promos

if only!

(706): Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.

.....now if only the T.H.O.M.A.S. system would catch on

anti-grumble!

this is the anti-grumblr

Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, I cannot work with that machine at my desk.
Tracy: But you can have coffee any time you want.
Kenneth: I don't drink coffee, sir. I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature.
Tracy: Ken, this is New York, the big easy, live a little. Boundaries are made to be tested. That's why my wife and I stopped using a “safe word”.
Kenneth: But I don't want to do anything I'll regret.
Tracy: Regrets are for horseshoes and hand grenades.

ace of base.

you guys at whitlow's?

.....nope

happy stanksgiving

mac in real life.

this is for mandy.

the best part is the radiohead parody at the end.

i'm a rough rider filled up with christ's love.

Plus, she’s religious. That one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. Believe me, I dated a chick like that once in high school. (Long pause.) No, I didn’t.

yuck

the THOMAS method. Works everytime.

Presenting the T.H.O.M.A.S. system

T - Tell yourself that you'll make a move, but never do it
H - Have her make the first move
O - be Overly awkward when the girl talks to you
M - Mumble awkwardly, stop talking
A - Afterward: Ah dammit, why didn't I talk to that girl
S - Sleep

leslie- ron, lets cut the bull. i want me, tom, and all the other ladies included in your hunting trip.
ron- hunting trip? we're doing a trail survey, leslie.
leslie- you are literally listening to turkey calls.
ron- is this not rap?

i've got the lil' wayne documentary

updates to come

mandy is slackin on her bloggin'

The greatest MTV show ever?

Go Pirates!

Info!

The It's Always Sunny Christmas special is hilarious. find it, download it!

I knew it!

sold!

amy winehouse got fake tits and drew freckles on her nose.

i watch too much tv.

tom- please tell me you're caught up on top chef, i need someone to bitch to.
mandy- so glad nigel pretty much said mollee and nathan didn't deserve to be in the top. someone needed to say it.

two shining examples of good parenting.

this is funny and so fundamentally not funny at the same time.

dear christ this is going to be so good

Well, I AM tough, overworked and unattractive. Maybe they're onto something..

she likes me in bright sweaters

we can get snacks n' shit

way too loud?

I would help you, but my hands are full... of owls.

if we don't live together, we're gonna die alone.

Check out our Social Sports League standings...

0-7.
i'm not even mad...i'm impressed. thats amazing.

See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today's Big Thing.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

at least she tried to do something about it.

read the whole thing.

Fredericksburg: Naked man hit by train, arrested.

The best/worst part is... he was trippin' balls.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

yes i can see that your carpet is animated.

i don't care if he looked like pharell.

that guy i made out with last night has called me three times since 3:15 this morning. he left two messages. if someone you just met didn't call you back after you left two messages, would you really call back a third time? really?

they don't even have chocolate in them!

me: hi honey.
mandy: did you leave your house yet?
me: yea i just parked why?
mandy: shit! well, you know how its halloween and sometimes kids come to your door and they want candy? well patti didn't buy candy and i gave the last ones kashi bars.

Once again

I want our lives to be exactly like It's Always Sunny. Mandy, get our bird costumes.

arnold's still got it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRUMBLECAKES!

tres hermanos.

if you're going to san fransisco

weezer featuring weezy?

i think i might love this.

more words of wisdom from tracy morgan...

I like fucking ass! Ain’t nothin’ like the butthole. The ass is a delicacy, goddamn it. I’d put hot sauce on it. When you eat the brown hole, that’s when her toes do this. [sticks legs out and curls toes] You got to be willing to do anything to please your woman, to satisfy her. I didn’t invent it. You think I was the first one to think of having anal sex with a girl? Hell, no. I’m quite sure Adam fucked Eve in the ass. In the Garden of Eden he tore her ass up, and she was screaming like a motherfucker

you down like four flat tires.

Tracy Morgan on Tina Fey, Fat Mike, etc.

just a little helpful advice

remember ladies...

apple cobbler.

reason #367 why i love new york

reason #366 why i love new york

I saw Tracy Morgan. I did not ask him, nor did he ask me, to take the other behind the middle school and get the other pregnant.

reason # 365 why i love new york

I saw Zack Morris on my lunch break

Hello, I'm calling from 1985 and I'm interested in purchasing Breakin' and Poppin' by Alfonso Ribeiro. Does that still come with fold out poppin' mat to impress my friends with moves like the king tut and the centipede?

highlight of my day.

today i went to georgetown hospital to have my girls checked out.
i'm sitting in a hospital gown waiting for my surgeon and in walks his fine ass european resident.
he asks me about my surgery, how long its been, do i have any concerns?
i show him the black spot in my stitches (mandy you know) and ask him what it is.
he doesn't know, but he'll see if he can get it out.
cut to me standing there
topless
with a hot doctor prying at my nipple with forceps
asking me if i have any sensation.
awesome.

at least the black spot is gone.

i'm super immature.

i feel like this sign was made for thomas.

its funny cause its real.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

i miss you guys

reppin the hood

i'm sorry

I was told that the literal translation of the title is "Compilation of Assholes Running"

is sarah palin a pre-op trans-centaur?

get excited.

30 rock comes back on tonight.

also

if you don't watch parks and recreation, i highly recommend that you start. amy poehler is amazing.

shake it shake it